Am I a monster as some have said or am I simply gifted with prophetic power, a kind of second sight that sets me above the mundane and the ordinary.
Paterson looks at the smooth palms of his small hands then slowly clenches his fists. The power I have in my hands. He feels the urge to grasp both of her breasts to squeeze them together to create a deeper cleavage. He feels heat in his penis. His palms become hot and moist. There is cancer in these breasts.
Paterson is wearing his spotless white coat, archetypal symbol of medical authority, his golden name tag on the lapel as he marches noisily along the corridor to his office. He is in charge of the Oncological Venomology Research Unit in the Rayne Institute, University College London (UCL) Division of Medicine, University Street, London, with its rarefied academic atmosphere far away from the smells, noise, hustle and bustle of the ordinary wards of everyday sickness.
The Oncological Venomology Research Unit is funded via a partnership between StoreVenom a biotechnology company and the UK Government. The unit’s mission is to bring to fruition the Government’s 100 Billion pound Operation Moonshot to discover (or invent as necessary) The British Cure for Cancer and, as the Prime Minister put it, To Make Britain Cancer Free with a World Beating Test and Treat Program. More sceptical voices draw comparisons with the dismal performance of the UK Government’s Moonshot Programme during the Covid Pandemic for a ‘world-beating’ Track and Trace system but then the public and the media have a short memory especially when it comes to right wing political shortcomings. The Unit has practically unlimited funds at its disposal. The Moonshot Program is the brainchild of the Far Right High Tory Cornerstone Group. It is viewed by the Right as the Conservative Party’s last hope of salvaging their rapidly diminishing vote share at the next General Election, that and their increasingly extreme anti-immigrant policies.
His power is nothing compared to The Mother’s Power – The Mother who denies his presence and ordains only his absence.
Professor Paterson has been granted exclusive access to a highly secret and very expensive prototype: the OncoWeb MammoExtractor in the form of a WebBra. At this stage he is not privy to the origin of the technology or even to how it works, only that he has been tasked by NICE, the National Institute of Clinical Excellence, to apply and test it in early trials of breast cancer detection and treatment. He is however desperate for the success that will confirm his preeminence amongst peers and will lead him to the positions of greater power that he feels he deserves, to the House of Lords, following in the footsteps of the great infertility guru Lord Winston, or dare he think it, even to a Nobel Prize.
Paterson’s trial subjects are selected from women diagnosed with cancer following mammogram and biopsy examination as part of the UK’s National screening program. Use of the the OncoWeb MammoScanner aims at determining, measuring and eradicating existing cancer, this is then followed by a sequence of follow up x-rays and biopsies over a period of weeks to determine impact upon the cancer and potential side effects. Within the Unit only he has access to the OncoWeb MammoScanner, a kind of bra. For reasons of security, or so he says, he sees his subjects and performs the OncoWeb procedure alone. He relishes, needs and demands the opportunity to exercise his power, to demonstrate his superior and inspired talents, and to indulge his fetish, in private. With an almost boyish charm he casts a fearful seductive spell over his patients who become submissive in his hands.
The early results from the OncoWeb trials at Paterson’s Unit in the Rayne Institute have been dramatic and beyond his wildest hopes. But they aggravate his anxieties, intensify his need for destruction and fuel his already hyperbolic sense of personal power, and his own innate abilities (partly inspired by his ex wife) to emulate the technology. He feels that the WebScanner, the technology, has somehow recognized his prophetic powers and has infused his body in a kind of divine copulation, a symbiotic partnership creating and multiplying in him the Supra Sensory powers to detect and eradicate cancer through the power of his hands alone.
Paterson’s ex-wife, the unwitting inspiration behind his own mystical abilities, had been a devotee of the Gurus of Vibrational Healing at the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland. When they were together she had had a successful homeopathy practice cultivating Essences, vibrational energies imprinted in water. However, jealous of and unable to accept his wife’s independence and financial success Paterson magically found his own mystical abilities, superior of course to his wife’s. He began to use his newly discovered innate vibrational energies to supplement his already highly developed intuitive senses. He uses this as a form of Reike to ‘diagnose’ breast cancer in his clinics, disregarding and even brazenly contradicting negative mammogram or biopsy results in the process. It provides a tool to facilitate his need to destroy woman by excising even healthy breasts and nipples whilst engorging his insatiable lust for cleavage .
Essences are prepared by infusing the energy of the element or plant into pure water in full sun or moon light.
Victoria catches the bus to the hospital, a journey filled with intense anxiety. Tests tests tests for what? Her worst nightmare, and now here she is on the no. 18 bus, 21 stops to go and nothing to look at but the traffic, run down shop fronts and the rain.
Paterson sits behind the desk and peers at Victoria over the top of his half moon spectacles. He coughs. Well Victoria, it’s ok if I call you Victoria? Yes? Victoria nods. As you know the mammogram showed a tumor in your breast and the biopsy confirmed it was cancer, not a bad one, he smiles weakly, but bad enough to need treatment. Silly to risk otherwise eh? He smiles more broadly this time as if to encourage hope, Paterson stated all this blandly in an upper class southern public school drawl softened by a paternal if not patronizing smile. And so, he continued without pause, You are now in my capable hands my dear. Thank you so much for volunteering for this novel treatment, between you and me I have great hopes. Victoria sits there meekly only aware of her heart pounding in her ears.
OK? She smiles weakly. He continues, Well the test is simple actually it’s two tests two things, I use both a sensory technique based on vibrational energies to detect and treat cancer. This is based on cancer’s energetic vibrations from the Life Force itsel. Then secondly we have the brand new OncoWeb test which is in development and proving extremely promising.
The ability of the person detecting the cancer’s energy to interpret and channel the Life Force or Orgone is intrinsic to the potency of the vibrational energy detected and transferred.
Minutes later Victoria has unbuttoned and removed her blouse and as instructed sits awkwardly on the couch her feet off the ground and arms by her sides. Just leave your bra on for a moment Victoria. Paterson asks her to put her hands on her hips. Taking his time he surveys and drinks in her cleavage, his saliva flowing. Good, ok so you can take off your bra now. Hesitantly she slips off her bra. She lies back as instructed on the cold couch behind the half drawn curtain. He hovers close by. I’m not going to touch you at this stage Victoria just going to allow the palm of my hand to drift over your breasts. Just put your hands behind your head. That’s it. I’m using a technique that detects the vibrations of Orgone energy from any cancer that might be there. This will take a minute or two. He stretches out one hand over her right breast over the nipple then the left and repeats the process several times. The palm of his hand hovers just a fraction away and she can feel it’s heat. She lies still and to her surprise begins to feel as if she wants to be touched. She feels something like a vibration between her legs inside her thighs spreading slowly upwards. Her mood calms and she feels her heart rate slowing. She can see he is concentrating hard and beginning to frown.
She doesn’t or didn’t fancy him sexually but the attention her nipples are receiving causes her to glance casually at his groin. Paterson is clearly excited. Paterson stands upright, very close, his groin touching the edge of the couch. He sways backwards and forwards. His expression is a mixture of exultation and sorrow. There is cancer here Victoria, in both breasts I’m afraid. But we can treat this. He is holding out his hands palms upwards like a priest at the consecration of the Eucharist.
Paterson takes a step back and lowers his arms. Now we will apply the new technology Victoria. She is still in a state of arousal and follows his every move. He walks over to a table where there is a large silver metal case, he dials a combination on the lock and opens it. He carefully lifts out what looks like an elaborately embroidered brassiere. There appears to be a dense mesh-like structure of fine fibers encased within the bra itself giving the appearance of a spider’s web. As he takes it out of the case it begins to shimmer and glow in a variety of colors. Paterson walks slowly towards Victoria holding the WebBra out in front of him. The glowing increases in both frequency and brightness as he approaches as if responding to her. That’s interesting Paterson says moving the WebBra towards and then away from Victoria’s breasts and the light glows and dims accordingly. Victoria feels serene now as if her destiny is no longer in any doubt. She feels a kind of awe in Paterson’s presence. She would do anything for him but no longer feels any sexual excitement or desire and her skin has become dry and cold.
Paterson asks her to squeeze her nipples before applying the WebBra. She is surprised but doesn’t hesitate. As she squeezes the WebBra light intensifies. Paterson lifts the WebBra up to her chest and wraps her small breasts in it drawing it up tight and tying up the fasteners behind. The WebBra tingles at first and the filaments encircling the nipples begin to shimmer more brightly. Victoria takes a deep breath as she feels a sharp pain in both nipples and her clitoris seems to contract sharply. She cries out she sees something like a fine gold mist between her and Paterson, then she feels drained and pale as if her life is ebbing away. Then the juices flowed. Paterson feels the tip of his penis tingle and the first flutterings of an erection as the spinning plate that is the phobic-fetish dialectic takes a jolt as Victoria’s nipples swell and her cleavage seems to deepen as the WebBra glows. Even Paterson’s nipples tingle. Orgone the stuff of the life-force itself flows out of her nipples into the WebBra which is now emitting a bright light and a low hum. Paterson is inhaling and absorbing the finest of gold mist, he is mesmerized and has a hard on he’d like to satisfy.
Victoria slowly comes back to life – she feels different, the room looks different, there is no anxiety now, just a calm yet totally ruthless sense of vocation. Paterson, eyes widened, looking intently at Victoria says quietly in awe So this is The Final Solution at last, The Cure, with this Web in my name I will totally eradicate cancer. To be sure I will still remove both of your breasts Victoria and preserve your beauty the cleavage. Yes, yes please Professor remove them take them away. I cannot bear my breasts any longer. She beams at him feeling exalted in his presence and by his attention and exhilarated at the thought of being breast-less. He takes her hand and pushes it against his groin.
Paterson’s words trigger a response in Victoria as her ruthless devotion finds a cause: Paterson’s Will as The Cure to be implemented as urgently efficiently and widely as humanly possible. This Law is now her.
Both Paterson and Victoria are profoundly changed.
Victoria has become a juridicist pervert embodying Paterson’s Totalitarian Law sharply focused and demanding the enjoyment of this little as much as possible regardless of any and all possible consequences. The WebBra has extracted both her cancerous excess as well as much of her libido the excess life-force that is a condition for love and caring. She is now on the way to becoming a monster, an Achillean Myrmidon armed and ready for battle in the service of Paterson’s Will.
At the core of Paterson’s narcissistic psyche is the absence ordained by his Phallic Mother, pure Lack, the void, the source of his Death Drive. Each time he applies the WebBra Paterson, as a narcissist, absorbs the stray Orgone of Reich, the famous Élan Vital of Bergson, the excessive life-force. This only accentuates his fate, makes the inner void more horrifying and intensifies his fear inciting further anxieties of unfulfilled narcissistic imaginings, his need to fuck ever more cleavage and to destroy Woman, the Mother.
You may understandably think we have now wandered into the realm of magical realism and say What nonsense! Of course bear in mind as I try to do as this story unfolds that in a sense we have always already been in a magically real world with expanding universes and the mysterious life-force itself. Other magical senses instincts and drives already predate the human on this planet. The discovery of magic opens it up to being put to use for better or for worse. Who’s to judge?