Victoria comes home

She bursts through the door of their semi in gentrified Saltram Crescent, West Kilburn. The house is big and they share with another couple. She rushes through to the kitchen at the back where Martha is stooped over her laptop.

Victoria has rushed home in a state of light-headed euphoria. Skipping, laughing as if intoxicated, she can barely remember the way. To bystanders her movements are odd, at times she seems to be gyrating, bouncing from one leg to the other arms in the air, then the next she runs head bowed as if rolling along fast caught by a thread in the wind, ballooning like the hand-springing spider of the Saraha desert. She feels her limbs have multiplied and become powerful, hydraulic.

Martha turns her head as Victoria swings through the door. Wow, Martha that was incredible absolutely fucking amazing bloody hell hah hah Jesus going to be titless… Wow Fuck-ing-Hell! There’s a slight pause. Whaat? Martha stares at Victoria shocked at this manic outburst but consciously trying not to over-react. She had never known Victoria talk like this, like some hippy over-dosed on weed. Victoria doesn’t stop for breath and paces around. Yeah bloody hell man seriously that was some trip. Christ, Victoria for God’s sake be still, sit down, calm down! What on earth’s got into you? Victoria continues now swaying and waving her arms in jerky movements. He’s into all this Reike shit right and he’s got a fucking spider web bra yeah which you put on and it makes your nipples springe like ouch and then everything changes colour and you feel like your coming and then you’re not. It’s actually genius. What? Anyway I’ve got cancer big time and Reike man says I’ve got to have both my tits off pdq. Fucking hell Victoria, just slow down will you? I know it’s actually great cos I want to lose my tits it’ll be liberating, no more wondering. Hang on a minute I thought the hospital doctor said it wasn’t serious just very slowly growing and needs monitoring so where’s all this come from? Well we can’t wait it’s too dangerous so say goodbye to them now baby and you need to get Reike man to check you out as well. He’ll wave his hands over your nips, you’ll love it and then you’ll start to vibrate. This is crazy stuff. Too right mate tits have to go the test doesn’t lie. Tits are Cancer. All bloody tits must go its our moral duty. You’ve lost the plot Victoria talking rubbish so really, hand-waving and spider webs, sounds like you’ve been on the wacky baccy to me. Yeah well now I’m feeling knackered, and you should have your tits looked at too anyway. Victoria suddenly slumps into the shabby deep armchair and closes her eyes. No way Martha thinks as Victoria, occasionally twitching, seems to go into a restless sleep.

Martha groans and puts her head in her hands then feels both her own breasts and gives them a squeeze. They are tender and her nipples feel sore and hot and she groans again. Her thoughts are racing and she has palpitations. What the hell is going on? She’s never ever been like this, talked like this. She stares out of the kitchen window into the unkempt back yard of broken down fencing and dying plants then her focus shifts to a spider’s web in the corner of the window pane and then to a tiny spider vibrating the web and trembling as if giving her a warning. Martha shakes herself and decides to go out, get out, walk, breathe some fresh air, anything but this madness. Maybe she’ll be back to normal in a bit.

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